I was watching the classic Susan Hayward tale of boredom and booze, Smash-Up: The Story of a Woman, when my ears perked up as she describes how to spice up a dull party with a little trick she learned in her days as a nightclub singer.
Hayward: Do you know what a stone fence is?
Manager: You mean a
stone wall.
Hayward: I mean a stone fence, brother. It’s kind of
like an ice cream soda with conviction. Bartender, would you please give me a
cocktail shaker with shaved ice, and some brandy, and some absinthe and some Cointreau.
It’s just about the most colossal drink you ever drunk. Drank. It puts poise
in apathetic people, if you know what I mean, and after the second one your
spine turns to solid platinum.
Real absinthe is hard to come by, but I'd murder for one of those drinks and the accompanying platinum spine. Of course, I’d like to avoid Hayward's fate. By the time she orders an Old Fashioned, saying: “Only no sugar, no vegetables and go light on the ice-why corrupt good liquor?!”, makes an ass of herself at parties, gets in spectacular catfights, burns the house down and gets her once-lovely face all scarred up it’s clear she’s got a little bit of a drinking problem. But what a way to go!
John Waters always
gives props for inspiration to Susan Hayward melodramas, but I hadn’t realized
just how much he meant it. The storylines for Female Trouble and Polyester
are both based on a combo of Smash-Up
and I Want To Live!--with that special Waters touch, of course.
Moved to the top of my Netflix queue...thanks
Posted by: Greg Needham | August 07, 2006 at 10:07 AM