John Jay's Real Time Oscar! Reviews
I skipped the
Oscars this year as I’ve been railing against the collective Celebrity Fever
that’s overtaken the nation and felt like I needed to walk the talk. John Jay (pictured) was kind enough to take the trash-talking reigns,
revealing an interesting Jessica Biel/Helen Mirren co-fixation.
8:04 P.M.
I usually boycot the
Oscars unless I feel passionate about someone or something...but since Jason is
catching an 810pm
I am watching E's red carpet now. It pretty much stands for everything I hate
and feel what's wrong with society. The gay dude with the Billy Idol hair
doesn't work. Hate the I'm to cool for school chatter that comes from these
babbling idiots.
Shows on now...
Wait, what the fuck, shows not on till 830pm. Going to turn to the SciFi
channel and watch 30 minutes of "End of Days"
CONTINUE IF YOU DARE, APRES LE JUMP
8:50 P.M.
Didn't mind that
opening of "The Nominees". Pithy little vignettes by, I am assuming,
all the nominees.
Ellen has a brown suit. Looks ok, side note, Portia and her look so wrong,
Doing stand up routine and its okay. Wonder how much Bruce what's his name
wrote
Sorry, Ellen is immensly likeable. Funny. All about winning.
Boy...Peter O'Toole aint looking good. Big Al Gore applause.
Leo looks good...lost his baby fat.
No fucking way I'm making it to 1130pm.
Don't know about the halleluah singers.
Have to get Austen's toy in car at commercial.
Oh who does she thing she is Nic Kidman...danny Craig is blah. Best art
director, Dream girls, Pans Lab, the good sheperd, pirates of the Carr, the
prestige...and the winner is YES PAN's Labrynth...my personel favorite of
2006...Mexican lad
Maggie Gylenhal...Scientific technology,,,going to car
9:30 P.M.
Terrible boring
speech from winners,
Jessica biel is a smoking hot piece of ass...james macavoy...sound of
mixing...apocolypto, blood diamond, she's smoking hot, flags of our fathers,
Dreamgirls, pirates of carr...give it up you're not going to win shit....winner
is Dreamgirls...god she's smuldering sexy hot..
Rachel Weizz....best supporting actor, Diminou hinju, alan arkin, mark
walhlberg, jack haley little children, eddie murphy...and the winner is...Alan
Arkin...little miss sunshine...yay yay yay...great speech, wow...good stuff
Ellen talking to marty and marky, pitching a screenplay to marty...funny
Some dance troupe...doing shadow puppets of Little Feet...
9:46 P.M.
Departed
blurp...damn good movie
Oh no...best song...james taylor and randi newman singing songs from
Cars...sappy..why why why...
Oh no...best song sung by Melissa Etheridge from An Inconvenient...showing enviornmental
help tips on the screen, Melissa is getting chunky...chunky lesbian, who would
think...actually powerful song about global warming...very good but still.
Leo and Al Gore...joke about announcing...gore saying thank you for
supporting...leo said this Oscars has gone green. Leo said how honored he is to
be next to Gore...
Typing for an hour now...fuck off
Cameron Diaz...dumb dress...animated features...she's gone brunette...u think
she and Jessica Biel chatted back sytage...Cars, happy feet, monster
house...Happy Feet won...good gor George Miller
9:59 P.M.
Ben Afleck...writing
award...he's trying to be serious...some pithy vignette again...dumb
Tom Hanks and Helen Mirren...she looks fabulous, stunning...very doable...best
adapted screen plays...Borat, Children of Men...The departed...Little
Children...Notes on a Scandal...winner is...The Departed
First thing guy says...Valium works...good speech
Wes Anderson doing American Express movie commercial...smart and funny.
God what's the matter with me, actually enjoying the evening, can't last long
10:10 P.M.
Ellen Oscar
Bjorn...funny
Best costume design...emily blount and Anne Hathaway...joking with oh who
cares...nominees...Curse of golden shower by Jason Rowan, devil wears prada,
The Queen, Dreamgirls, Marie Antionette...winner is Marie Antoinette...has won
2 other Oscars before...can't understand a word out of her French mouth...
Why is Tom Cruise here..oh no...taking a moment with the Gene Hershing
award...Sherri Hansen...first female president of 20th Century fox...CEO of
Paramount ok ok this chick has done it all. Tom cruise is really short next to
her
Editot’s Note. At
this point I had gotten home from
Reno
911! Miami The Movie and the posts from John
Jay had dried up. I sent him a note: “don't give up! this is all gold-oscar
gold.” But no dice. Then, this morning:
8:41 A.M.
...841am
Told you I wouldn't make it to 1130.
WINNERS
Marty for the Departed-great entertaining film felt it lasted 30 minutes too
long. But damn entertaining and Leo and Jack were fabulous.
Marty for the Departed-see above
Forest
for Last King of Scotland-decent film and, from what I remember, not too big of a stretch for
Forest
's talent. Meaning it was the same
performance he always gives and I don't see what all the hoopla is about. But
good for him and I guess it is a far cry from his empath role in Species.
Alan Arkin for Little Miss Sunshine-fantastic
Jennifer
hudson
for Dreamgirls-huh
Helen Mirren for The Queen-didnt see it heard she was fabulous. God she looks
good
Comments